Of nerds and evil mixtures

It's the end of May. Revenge of the Sith is in theaters. I think it's finally the first movie of the 'prequels' that deserves to be called 'Star Wars'. My friend Theiny thinks I've lost my mind, or rather that I've finally 'crossed over' to George Lucas' side, to the dark side of the Force. Well, maybe I shouldn't have told him that I think 'Residen Evil: Apocalypse' isn't that bad within the scope of its possibilities ... [ Oh my God ... I've really reached the dark side ;-) ]

I watched 'Aviator' on DVD today. In the audio commentary Scorcese describes Howard Hughes sensations of flying with his own on the first day of shooting. The first look through the viewfinder and the realization, "I'm here. And I'm doing it ... because this is what I was made for!"

It took two months for the ladies at the fantasy agency 'Schreib-Art' to turn me down:

"... we received your reading sample and read it with interest. Unfortunately, we have to inform you that your text does not fit into our program, as it mixes a lot of elements (thriller/conspiracy/horror...). Nevertheless, we think your novel definitely has potential and wish you all the best and much success with it for the future..."

Well, when they're right, they're right. I had submitted readings of 'The Mark' and 'Kabbalah' and can only imagine that the rejection was for 'The Mark'.I must admit that I had high hopes regarding this agency. That a large, established agency does not want to touch me with pointed fingers, I can understand. I can also understand that a publisher would rather have a classic thriller. But I really believed that at least the fantasy people would 'understand' me. But my attempt to breathe new life into the horror genre in the creative sense of J.J. Abrams seems to fail. What am I supposed to do? If even the 'nerds' in the industry don't understand me?All my first-time readers are intrigued by my intelligent blending of genres, and find the adventures of Ruth Marx a pleasant change of pace. 'The Mark' has its weaknesses and needs revision. But 'Kabbalah' is really the best thing I've ever written. Why isn't the potential recognized? The material IS good. Better than good. And with the 'skin' I seem to be getting great attention (The downloads of the podcast prove this - over Three Hundred so far) At least I have been kind enough to get some publicity with my 'One Minute Podcast' - 'The End'. It was broadcast by Alexx and Norman on May 19 on their Mediabroadway program on Radio Gütersloh.

So Mr. Heinke was really 'On The Air'. So my little one minute horror story proves that I CAN do it. But unfortunately I can't pay any bills with it. I tell stories. Good stories. Some are so good that they give people nightmares. So they create the desired effect. I even go so far as to say that people would pay money to read, hear or see them. I really don't care what medium I tell these stories in: Film, radio or book. Name it. Writing is my foundation ... and it's a lot cheaper than producing a movie. (Although my fingers are itching again).

There has to be at least ONE kindred soul out there in the shark tank of agencies and publishers who will give me a chance to bring my talent to the people.

Come on, guys. Let's kick some butts ... "I'm here. I'm doing it ... because I'm made for it!"

Favorite Line:

"There's a rather alarming mountain heading our way!"
Aviator (2004)

Reminder:

On Friday, I went to the first funeral of my life where the deceased was younger than me. When my father died, shoveling a bit of dirt onto the casket gave me the feeling of a closed circuit, much in the sense of 'ashes to ashes, dust to dust'. It was sad, it was bad, but it was also somehow okay. Death is part of life, after all. 'Not offered separately' But now ... standing at this grave was completely different. I was not able to throw soil on this deceased person. It seemed cruel to do so. Like dying far too soon, it seemed completely wrong to me. I didn't want to close a loop, didn't want to acknowledge the neatness of the situation.

It is wrong and remains wrong to have to go before one's time. Even if my faith gives me comfort, the bland aftertaste of senselessness remains.

We humans need order to be able to exist. But chaos is our constant companion next to order. Between both forces balances our small, fragile life. You have to learn to accept that ... but that doesn't mean you have to like it.