Praise and a cage

This time it is day. I have sent another publisher a sample of »Kabbala«. Still nothing from Switzerland. After sending it, I fell into a deep hole again. When I asked myself again why I could even believe that someone could be enthusiastic about my way of writing, I received the following reactions to two of my short stories that I posted on KeinVerlag.de.

First, Arezoo wrote about 'The First Time':

»Wow! This is black, this is new, this is: so good! Subtle horror without vampires, dark castles and lots of blood. Goes through the marrow and the bone. And the style is fluid, assured, skilful, no hesitation - you're telling a story. Take a bow. This is writing!« (15.02.2005)

Wow. That felt good, ladies and gentlemen. Really good. Then immediately afterwards 'DressedInBlack' wrote:

»I'm thrilled. This is how prose should be, this is horror. Not a word too many, not a word too few; gripping and incredibly exciting! And then this great ending. I would have liked to have written it myself.«

(17.02.2005)

And last but not least, 'Kiddo' had something to say about my text 'Beauty':

»Uaaah, I'm getting chills up and down my spine right now, and it's not only because of my arachnophobia - thanks, by the way, for the nightmares I'm sure to have tonight ;-) - but above all because of your incredibly captivating style. Very good!«

(18.02.2005)

Sure, self-praise stinks, but I really needed a little ventriloquism. If only 10% of these positive impressions also catches one of the editors reading »The Mark« or »Kabbala«, I have (I hope) a good chance.

Favorite Line: »You ask yourself who'll watch for me, a solitary voice to speak out and set me free - I hate to say it, I hate to say it but it's probably me.«
It's Probably Me by Sting, 1993

Reminder: A friend sits further forward in the cinema. My other friends want to sit further back and wait for peer pressure to set in - he'll sit with us. But for very specific reasons, I can't bear to see him sitting there like that. Maybe because I know what it's like to sit in this cage of sadness and fear. The friend would say I exaggerate excessively. Especially in my choice of words.

Despite the ongoing silence from publishers, the positive feedback on my short stories on KeinVerlag.de has been a much-needed boost to my confidence. The praise from readers reassures me that my writing has value and potential, even if I sometimes doubt it myself. I hold onto the hope that if these stories can evoke such strong reactions, perhaps 'The Mark' or 'Kabbalah' will catch an editor's eye and lead to a breakthrough.